Big is not better. It is usually just bloody stupid

I worked on Phillips advertising twice. Once I wrote a TV ad that shifted a boatload of car radios they hadn't been able to sell. I wish I had a copy - but I left all examples of my advertising genius on the top deck of a bus 35 years ago.

One thing I noticed about Phillips - as with most large firms - was that they didn't have a clue about advertising. They still don't. Another was that they kept in getting bigger and bigger - but their profits didn't.

I just saw an ad in The Wall Street Journal with the wanky heading "Because there's no place like home, especially when you're sick".

See if you can tease a benefit or reason to keep reading out of that little lot.

The baseline was written by a Jane Austen fan, I guess. It read "PHILLIPS sense and sensibility".

The copy ran:

"Hospitals are excellent establishments. It's just than no-one likes going into them unless they have to. So why not have the hospital come to the patient instead? Getting healthcare at home is a simple solution that makes patients less anxious and hospitals less crowded. Find out more at www.phillips.com/because".

And that's all, folks. All the benefits carefully buried in the copy and no justification for them. Idiots.

There are idiots amok at Verizon, too. But they are not human.

When I got here I wanted to use my US cellphone. It had $6:78 credit. But it didn't work. "You have insufficient credit" said the Dalek machine. No human being to talk to. Just press this and press that.

It turns out the thieving bastards steal all your money if you don't add some at regular intervals. May they rot in hell.