Now it can be told
Thanks for visiting – and besides being mildly curious, do you say the same things as me about blogs?
Maybe something along these lines?
“Oh no, not another. Aren’t 50 million enough? Will this tidal wave of drivel never ebb?”
Well, my excuse is that people keep asking me to. Really.
Actually, for 20 years I’ve been asked to write an autobiography, so this is a lazy way to see if anyone would be interested.
A test, in fact..
You may ask, why the silly title? Well, when I was a big cheese in direct marketing, I used to send out newsletters to my colleagues around the world called Commonsense Creative, which someone unkind immediately called Bird Droppings.
(Amazingly, quite a few have kept them).
Now that I’m an older, smaller cheese I can talk to you about things I see every day that I hope you’ll find as puzzling, intriguing, ludicrous, hilarious, bizarre, inexplicable or downright stupid as I do.
For instance:The terrifying security guards in our hotel in Kiev...
And so on …
Why most people who get to run big firms shouldn’t ...
How my ex-partner managed to get such a bevy of strumpets into the Royal Enclosure in Ascot without being arrested ...
What’s missing from most of the marketing advice you get from U.S. experts ...
What I’m going to do in Cuba in September ...
How an Indian film revealed that my daughter was a brilliant singer ...
What my father taught me about brands ...
My divorces – and what they cost ...
My mixed experiences with political parties – and why I fear Cameron may be a disaster ...
Why you should watch my on-line seminars ...
What David Ogilvy said to me one Christmas morning ...
How I got a job that should have gone to Charles Saatchi ...
Why advertising agencies don’t believe in advertising ...
How I got my first advertising job ...
Why I walked out of University ...
What Parkinson said when he interviewed me on TV ...
My first visit to the King’s Road ...
I may even tell you about my two curious adventures with transvestites … but I’m not sure my partner Marta will let me – though I shall certainly talk about her.
Where shall I begin?
Should it be the letter my friend Ian Dewar sent me, asking to get paid for doing nothing?
No.
I’m going to tell you about going broke. I’ve done it twice. Not personally, thank God. Just my companies.
You could learn a lot – I did.
And I’m going to tell you how after the first time my accountant, the rogue, actually suggested I do it again.
That’s for the next episode.
First, though, check out these pictures my old partner Glenmore sent me of Royal Ascot.
He’s actually rather poorly at the moment, but he left the hospital to have a little fun.
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