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Saturday, 13 December 2008

Watch out, jerks about!

"You will want to discover cutting edge knowledge from two thought leaders," was the message I just got from somebody called Spindelman on Facebook.

This asinine piece of patronising jargon was "sent to the members of ZnaTrainer Saturday Blog Radio Interview's The Flow Doctor."

I don't recall signing up for this, which must be something to do with blocked toilets.

It went on to threaten me with losing my job and the assassination of my business as follows:

"Find out what Applicititus is and why it can kill your business and get you fired.

Be There Or Not - The Choice Is Yours.

The Ones Who Are, Will Be Out Of The Recession Before You."

This barrage of tripe was signed

Warmest Regards,

Michael & Zna

I don't believe I want to discover anything from people who can't write decent English, but I must admit I never heard of anyone called Zna before.

As I haven't got a job, and I'm as busy as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest - which always happens when recessions occur - that barrage of mindless tripe didn't really hit the spot.

And Applicititus is an invented name designed to appeal to gullible psycho-inadequates.

So, no I don't think so. You didn't have to send me the message twice. And please don't send me warmest regards. I've never met you.

Just as a postscript to my piece about airport advertising lunacy, when I got back to Heathrow last night the place was festooned with posters for the Guaranty Bank, with the line: Proudly African. Truly International.

Then it listed the countries involved, which included Nigeria, famed for being the most corrupt place on earth and Sierra Leone, famed for being a good place to have a civil war, with the line "Wouldn't you rather bank with us?"

Are you out of your mind, you lunatics? I'd rather bank with Northern Rock. And certainly not with a bank that pisses away its depositors' money on posters like that.

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