Bizarre economic paradoxes

I read in the Saturday New York Times that human beings - to the astonishment of the geniuses in charge - are behaving the way you would expect them to.

They are saving money.

The authorities want them to spend on lots of things they don't need.

But what would you do if you thought you might lose your job next month?

Of course, when you save your money, if you stick it in the banks who fucked us all in the first place you will get fucked again.

Do you fancy being rogered by Piggy Hester and his friends?

Thought not.

Talking about being rogered, I also see the masterly economic skills of the Utterly Useless Lying Toad of Kirkcaldy have managed to deliver the worst set of economic results since 1958.

He has now changed his mind about the pointless identity cards plan (£1 billion pissed away) though some of his sub-twats say they would be useful "for youngsters wanting to buy alcohol". Idiots.

£36 million was spent on "a consultation exercise" into this dead duck. How the hell do you manage that? Consultation into what? Right from the start most people loathed this inane scheme. Ten minutes in any pub would have done the job. Which moron signed the cheques? Who's looking after our money here?

A Conservative shit called Grayling who should be indicted for fraud for fiddling his expenses but is Shadow Home Secretary said this decision is "symbolic of a Government in chaos". God, what a dire display of political cliche.

Lloyds Bank, in trouble because it was pushed by the the Magic Toad into taking over HBOS, is firing either 2100 or 3500 people - figures vary because they can't count.

The mastermind of this strategic coup is the Toad's friend "Sir" Victor Blank - Old Slime Pants. His pension is safe. On June 8th he said the takeover is 'beginning to show results'.

You can say that again, Vicky.

In fact why not say it to each person whose life you've screwed up? Face to face.

Meanwhile the fraudsters are still intent on pushing us further into the European quagmire.

Lest we forget: which is the strongest economy in Europe?

Norway. The only nation not part of the great fuck up.