Department of Parliamentary Bollocks and Misrepresentation: Interim Report

How utterly, boringly, bloody predictable.

Within days of promising to mend his ways the Toadasaurus announces an enquiry into the shameful Iraq disaster.

This, in keeping with the great Bliar's promise of "Open Government", the usual tripe about "transparency" and Brown's congenital fear of the truth will be held in secret.

No blame will be apportioned.

So what is the point, exactly? Seemingly just another way to piss away a few more millions (these enquiries all cost millions) to hide the truth from us.

An enquiry should enquire not conceal. Crimes should be punished, not condoned. Those who loved those who died deserve the truth. What a shoddy, disgusting, lothsaome, sordid piece of chicanery.

Today's other silly: the Scottish Parliament is to be allowed to raise tax and do impportant things like control air-gun legislation and drink-driving laws. Again, a waste of public money. We will never know how much it's cost to come out with this pointless conclusion.

Incidentally, in exchange would it be too much to ask that Scottish tax payers get exactly the same benefits as the rest of us, rather than a great deal more? The report goes some way towards that - but not far enough.

At the same time all their canting liars, thieves and drunks - e.g. G. Brown, A. Darling, M. Martin - should be rigorously confined to Scotland like plague germs and not allowed out to roam around Westminster disgracing the name of democracy.

I have always thought the Act of Union was a good thing. I believe pro rata Britain has gained far, far more from Scottish genius than the other way round. If a few of the exported rogues had read that great Scot Adam Smith and acted on his advice we wouldn't be in the dreadful fix we're in now.

But if Scotland is to be independent, so should England.

And please, please, give the Scots the privilege of bailing out their own banks.