So why IS McToad so useless? A guide for the nonplussed

This morning I read this from the late Adolf Hitler, patron saint of the BNP.

"The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence".

The Lost Sporran is not an evil man, like Hitler. His perpetual and constant weapon has been regularly falsifying the evidence. His big weakness is that he cannot distinguish - nor can most of our politicians - between what matters and what doesn't. And of course he is quite mad.

Last night, at a time when even the dogs in the streets realise he's a complete tosser, he said "If I didn't think I was the right man for the job, I wouldn't be here."

This is not an argument, you great spavined oaf.

I've had hundreds of people apply to me for jobs over the years. They all said they were the right people for the job. Why should that interest me? I wanted to know what hardly any of them explained: why they were the right people for the job.

Destroying the British economy when you're supposed to be its custodian does not make you the right man for the job.

Falsely claiming you're prudent when you're pissing money away by the billion does not make you the right man for the job.

Helping the Bliar get us into a pointless war does not make you the right man for his job.

Withholding money for equipment that would save soldiers' lives does not make you the right man for the job.

Making it a better deal for people to draw unemployment pay than work does not make you the right man for the job.

Imagining that making the grossly overrated Alan Sugar as "enterprise tsar" will achieve anything is just pathetic - and doesn't make you the right man for the job.

What is wrong with this government and the last, and will probably be wrong with the next is politicians' total inability to understand what ordinary people care about, or distinguish between hot air and action - leading to a criminal misdirection of resources.

For instance, if anyone wonders why more people are voting for the BNP, consider this. Gordon Brown has been responsible for employing many hundreds of thousands of public servants. This was an act of low cunning - people who depend on the government for their jobs tend to vote labour.

These poor souls are constantly under attack after disasters like the torture and slaughter of the two students we have been reading about, or the unspeakably appalling case of baby P.

Why do they fail? Not through bad intentions.

It is because instead of being told to be helpful - what servants are for - they spend far too much time filling in forms, trying to meet "targets" and following the asinine prescriptions of the politically correct. This is true of them all. Teachers. Police. Social workers. Even the fire brigade.

Take this "target" nonsense. The other day I heard about a seminar on How to recruit and retain a diverse workforce in the Fire and Rescue Services. This was described as "vitally important", because "women, black and minority ethnic groups and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are all vastly underrepresented in the service".

Here's your starter for one. Which is more important? Putting out fires? Saving lives? Or having a posse of drag queens waving their limp little hoses around the neighbourhood?

And what do you think the average man in Sheffield thinks about that sort of thing? Could it be he thinks his money is being pissed down the drain, and he'd be better off voting for Nazi-Lite?

But don't blame the Toad alone. He has an excellent supporting cast. I couldn't help laughing at all the parliamentary crooks who, caught with their hands in the till, came out with that glorious one-liner "I made an honest mistake."

Quite so. You got caught.

Funniest quote of the week, by the way: Tony Wright M.P. speaking from Planet Loon called Brown "a towering figure who has brought the world through the worst financial crisis for 60 years".

What other miracles does he do, Tony? Fart through his ears?

Oh, and by the way, you great looby, for the rest of us there is still a financial crisis. Your man did a lot to put us in it and most of the things he's done to get us out (see Lloyds Bank etc.) haven't helped that much.