Ben and Karl (the rocket scientist) launch their squirrel on an eagerly waiting world ... and another lousy joke

I'm so sorry ... part of this slipped out yesterday.

Once again, whiz down to the joke if more guff about EADIM is not your bag ... and you've heard enough about business to last you a lifetime.

But if you really want to make more money on the internet, you'll love Karl (who really WAS a rocket scientist) and Ben of Conversion Rate Experts. They were the first ever authorised Google Optimiser Consultants in Europe.

Go and look at their site if you want to download lots and lots of free advice - but if you wanted to get the knowledge you need to succed with your websiteand be entertained as you go, you'd have loved yesterday.

First, to general delight they revealed their mascot, which is actually a squirrel in human form ... talked about what we say to dogs – and what they hear ... how you can end up paying £55 for “free” business cards – and lots of essential good advice.

After them Toon Vanparys of www.netmining.com amazingly managed to look good, even after Karl and Ben ... as he showed a “magic” way to get up to 5 times as many people to leave details on your site ...and did it all live.

Lastly, when we were all worn out, Guy Stainthorpe, who runs an amazingly complex mail order business managed the impossible. He made the maths of direct marketing entertaining – and did so at the end of the day. How can you make tired people laugh as you explain the concept of lifetime value? Ask Guy!

Enough already. Here's the joke.

An elderly lady who had been widowed ran an ad in the paper.

HUSBAND WANTED:

MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's)

MUST NOT BEAT ME,

MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME

MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell.

She opened the door to see - much to her dismay - a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.

He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?

Just look at you...you have no legs!

The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'

She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'

Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said...

How d'you think I rang the doorbell?