Specially for people wishing to improve their language. Two versions.

A group of children were trying to get used to nursery.

The biggest hurdle was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk.

You must use 'Big People' words,' she was always telling them.

"John, what did you do over the weekend?"

"I went to visit my Nana".

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.

Use 'Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done

"I took a ride on a choo-choo".

She said. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.

You must remember to use 'Big People' words".

She then asked little Alex what he had done?

"I read a book" he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" said the teacher .

"What book did you read?"

Alex thought very hard, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,

"Winnie the SHIT".

Those of you who working in places that require you to spend a lot of time talking shit about strategy in meetings may find the economy bullshit generator more helpful.

I have offered it before, but I am sad to note that some of you are still not using it. You will never succeed in any large organisation until you do.

http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

Let's go, team!

By the way, if any of you talk about your "teams" or "team-building exercises" in business, stop it now. You're not playing soccer, you buffoons.