WELCOME TO THE DRAYTON BIRD BLOG - Commonsense about marketing, business and life

Leave now if easily shocked or politically correct. Otherwise, please leave your comments. Statements such as "brilliant", "hugely perceptive", "what a splendid man" and "can I buy you dinner at the restaurant of your choice" are all greeted with glee.

If you like, I'll e-mail you each new dollop of drivel when I publish it. Just click here to subscribe. If you want to succeed faster, get my 101 helpful marketing ideas, one every 3 days. People love them - maybe because they're free. Go to www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com and register. You also a get a free copy of the best marketing book ever written

Thursday, 10 January 2008

Our boy "Jamie" plays a blinder

I just saw this internal e-mail from “Jamie” Dimon who is the boss of J.P. Morgan Chase, the bankers.

He must be the same “Jamie” who is responsible for the banks multi-billion dollar losses through crappy sub-prime paper, but who blithely said he was not worried last autumn.

Actually, I think I hate almost anyone called Jamie, but that’s another subject.

Anyhow, whatever his name is, his memo says he is “very pleased to announce that we have appointed former British Prime Minister Tony Blair as a Senior Advisor to the firm. He will also be joining our International Council.

In this advisory role, Tony Blair will work with us part-time -- advising our Operating Committee and Board; participating in key client events; and helping our bankers on senior-level client matters worldwide.

We're honored that Tony Blair has chosen to work with JPMorgan Chase. He plans to advise a very small number of highly respected companies -- we're the first, and we'll be the only banking institution -- and it's a reflection of all we've achieved together that we are his top choice.”

Christ, if I heard I was the bliar’s top choice I’m not sure I’d be pleased. I’d probably throw myself in front of a bus.

The question is, can the old maestro do for a bank what he managed to do for us?

Could he get them into a couple of wars? Can he teach them anything about bribery – always useful in certain markets? Have they any involvement in education, crime-fighting or medicine? His track record in those areas is remarkable.

A friend has already predicted one possible “initiative”.

Morgan take over a small, defenceless bank in the middle east - fearing they could launch a hostile takeover bid in the next 45 minutes with lunch money.

They’re paying him $500,000 a year – part-time. If that’s for him to stay away three days a week, it's a start. They should bite the bullet and pay him more not to turn up at all.

blog comments powered by Disqus