Here's another fine selection of messes I've got myself in - but you can get me out

I have always had a strong fellow-feeling for Stan Laurel, as:

1. He was like me a Lancashire man.

2. He was always being blamed for getting himself and his colleague into fine messes.

The difference between him and me is first, he was a genius and I am not; second, he was unfairly blamed for the messes.

I make all my own very well and without help, thank you.

But sometimes things work out ok - with help from folks like you.

Today I find myself with several projects with promise, and I'm going to carry them all out. But your advice is essential. So here's what I have lined up.

1. The branding event with James Hammond. That is going ahead in April or May. We only plan for small numbers, already have about 120 people interested, and have started working out the agenda. Please tell me now if it interests you. Drayton@draytonbird.com is the address.

2. Mentoring. I just mentioned this casually here the other day and people seemed interested. In fact after I drafted this I had drinks in the Marquis of Granby (a pub, of course) with someone who said he wanted to give it a go.This is for VERY small numbers (no more than 20 in two groups) so if that interests you tell me.

3. Out of left field, do any of you have anything to do with selling cars?

I did a two day event in Cuba (!) for 60 or so people two years ago which was a wild success - I'm chairman of a firm that helps people like Volkswagen and Bentley sell cars and have worked for everyone from Audi and Aston Martin to Mercedes, Ford over the years.

So I'm thinking of repeating that, Let me know if you or someone you know might be interested

4. Would you like to write better copy? I am considering something in New York in April with my friend Howie Jacobson (author, Adwords for Dummies - but also a very good writer and superb teacher). Two of the last three times I've spoken in the U.S. I got standing ovations - or maybe people were just stampeding to get out.

Anyhow, let me know if that's of interest.

5. I forgot to mention my EADIM event www.EADIM.com in October. A few of you have signed up for that already, and I'm afraid you've missed the best price - but you can still get in on easy terms if you're interested and save a few hundred £££. Only 29 places left and 10 months to go

I won't bore you any more, though I do have two other things in mind, one rather spectacular in a well-known French Chateau.

But if any of that list interested you and you haven't told me already, please do so. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I think it's time I retired - so you may never get another chance.

On the other hand, I can think of a few people who'll be glad to see the back of me.

Please tell me if you can read this OK. I put it out in normal sized type, Georgia. But It always comes out small on my machine. Bring back the typewriter!