1. Proof that the best Irish jokes always come from the Irish: A Paddy Power TV spot with a blind footballer kicking a cat across a pitch got more complaints than any other ad in the last year. Well fancy that!
2. Proof that Parliament is stuffed with idiots: MPs have recommended there should be a "snow supremo" to try to avoid another winter of chaos at airports. Come back King Canute, all is forgiven.
3. At least they're not sitting on their arses: More and more graduates are taking non-graduate jobs. Six months after leaving university, about 40% are doing so. Good for them. But maybe it's because most of their degrees are about as demanding as GCSE you took at 16 when I was young.
4. Male South Korean teachers resign in droves: A local education board plans to place boards in front of all school desks, to make students more "comfortable". This is because of the fashion for very short skirts which has come from Japan.
I made the bit about the teachers up. But the Koreans should come and take a look at Bristol on a Friday night. The girls would shorten their skirts a bit more and the teachers would be very happy.