WELCOME TO THE DRAYTON BIRD BLOG - Commonsense about marketing, business and life

Leave now if easily shocked or politically correct. Otherwise, please leave your comments. Statements such as "brilliant", "hugely perceptive", "what a splendid man" and "can I buy you dinner at the restaurant of your choice" are all greeted with glee.

If you like, I'll e-mail you each new dollop of drivel when I publish it. Just click here to subscribe. If you want to succeed faster, get my 101 helpful marketing ideas, one every 3 days. People love them - maybe because they're free. Go to www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com and register. You also a get a free copy of the best marketing book ever written

Thursday, 9 June 2011

God, the tears were streaming down my face as I received this heart-rending message. Then I threw up

Well, I'm sitting here in the humid heat of Brooklyn banging out the odd syllable, but here's something from someone I've never met, never spoken to, never bought off.

I just read their stuff because I collect this kind of thing - and some of it's quite clever. On the other hand. some of it's utterly nauseating, as you will see.

It reads:

Dear Drayton,

I don’t say it often enough, Drayton — but THANK YOU!

Thank you for the loyalty you’ve shown to my company in general — and to me in particular.

You have no idea how much your friendship means to me. But I have found a way to show you in a very valuable, very practical way.

I must ask you NOT to share this with anybody outside of your immediate family. I’m only doing this for a tiny handful of our very best friends. Telling others will only cause them to be disappointed.

For my entire big idea and all my thoughts about it, please see the entirety of the confidential letter that I have just written to you. I’ve posted it on this hidden page on my website:

Good luck and God bless!


Well, I must say that brings a new depths of meaning to the word "insincere". You can imagine how many thousands comprised the handful of friends referred to. I will not swell their number by passing it on to my family who need all the money they can get.

Compared to that mawkish tripe my invitation to a "last minute webinar" is downright stark in its naked appeal to the gullible.

This epic event (with ten attendees at the moment) "Reveals How YOU Can Gain Top Rankings in Google... For Almost Any Niche You Go After And How You Can Earn Hundreds, If Not Thousands A Month In Passive Commissions In Just 45-Days (or Less).

It forgot to mention you can also walk on water, slay dragons, empty bars, rescue virgins and become sought after by desirable members of the opposite sex - or indeed any sex you like

I guess this stuff appeals to some of the idiots out there, which is rather depressing, don't you think?

I would like to propose the recipe suggested by Charles E Brower, one-time boss of BBDO, and a good copywriter:

"Honesty is not only the best policy. It is rare enough nowadays to make you pleasantly conspicuous."

blog comments powered by Disqus