Don't laugh. I'm fairly serious.
Last week I went with my beloved to a splendid restaurant near us in Bristol that was running a Portuguese evening, and this is one of the useful ideas we picked up.
The wristwatch in question runs seven times faster than an ordinary one, because it works - but you guessed, didn't you? - on dog years.
Equally indispensable are: an indicator for cars that tells people you're going straight ahead, tights with three legs - if you ladder one leg, there's always a spare hanging around - and TV with smells.
How did I come by these ideas for the busy lunatic?
Because we got into conversation with two chaps on our table who both work for the U. K. patent office, and these are some of the ideas they told us about that have been submitted in all seriousness by questing minds.
In fact the indicator idea has been suggested quite a few times.
But none of these fine ideas can compete with a comedian called Adeel Chowdhry.
This philanthropist just "revealed" his rare secret that will "add $459,625 to your bottom line every month with hardly any effort and no investment, as well a key loophole" that he "taps into" into five times a month to flood his site with 1,261,863 visitors on demand.
Pull my other leg. It's got bells on it.