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Saturday, 8 March 2008

Loathsome media nag slapped down. Hurrah!

My Australian partner Mal sent me this, and I must say it filled me with fierce joy.

Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure” who was interviewed on the radio recently by one of those politically correct horrors who seem to emerge mysteriously like evil-smelling bubbles of gas from a swamp.

Germaine Greer is the first who comes to mind. My second wife Anna, whom I mentioned a few days ago used to work as a waitress with Germaine before she became famous.

We were both mystified by the way the papers used to say that Greer was beautiful when she had all the allure of clothes-peg with tits.

“Actually,” said Anna, “when I knew her she could never laid to save her life – and God knows she tried. The trouble is she was such a bore. Never stopped talking which put the men off. She was always bloody desperate.”

Anyhow, back to the story about the general.

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws, you'll love his reply to the interviewer, who was clearly one of You know: the sort you want to strangle.

It's one of the best comeback lines of all time. The General was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.


So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?


We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.


Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?


I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.


Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?


I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.


But you're equipping them to become violent killers.


Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

End of interview. Ha!

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