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Friday, 25 July 2008

For male chauvinists and mathematicians only

I finished six pieces of copy yesterday and I'm fed up with sectarian squabbles, so time for a laugh.My friend Andy Owen just sent me a joke about these two ladies, which I have seen before, but it still made me laugh.

It also reminded me of a most amusing man I once worked for in the swimming pool business, who always said on the matter of sex. “it’s cheaper to rent”.

Anyhow, the maths on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce are as follows:

After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time.

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other as you can see at the top, charges $4,000 an hour. For anything!

Had Paul McCartney 'employed' Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a saving of $41.7 million).

Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, plays all requests, ability to put BOTH legs around you (!!!), no bitching and complaining or 'to do' lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back when you ask her. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees.

Sometimes renting really does make more sense...

By the way, the man who advised me to that effect was (and still is, in his '80's) a charming, very funny New Yorker who got away with costing the Mafia a lot of money. I learned a lot from him.

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