Gorillas make £437,000 - plus a few Euro-moans from the aged scribe

I watched a story the other day about the remarkable degree to which gorillas behave like and can communicate with humans.

There has recently been a plague of fancifully decorated gorillas in Bristol, placed in prominent places to raise money for the zoo. Everybody loved them and until a week or so ago I used to walk past the one in the picture on my way to the station.

These amiable relatives of ours raised some £437,300 at auction, the other day. My favourite was the Elvis Gorilla at the National Express bus station, but I can't find a picture of him. He was sold for £10,300 - the third highest sum.

The big difference besides appearance seems to be that gorillas are much nicer than humans. Perhaps they are also more intelligent than some of the waddling masses of tattooed flab I often see wandering our city streets.

I am sure they have a greater sense of what is fair than our governors.

Here in Bristol which is ironically called a City of Sanctuary a lady called Khetiwe Mashavave who has never done anyone any harm is threatened with deportation to Zimbabwe rather than being allowed to stay in Bristol.

The other day I signed a petition to try and keep her here. She is a churchgoer and a real contributor to the community. If she goes back she will face the thoughtful attentions of Mugabe's thugs. (What would have happened if Zimbabwe, rather than Libya, had oil?)

Meanwhile, thanks to the bizarre ideas of the European Court of Injustice, we are required to keeping a clutch of terrorist bastards here at incredible cost because nasty things may happen to them if they are sent back to where they came from.

This is all wrong. Their religion is based on the Old Testament idea of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. They who wish to live by the sword should die by the sword.

If Europe as presently arranged falls apart, the one thing that should be rejected for good is the primacy of a legal system alien to our culture. Apart from anything else, it's not good for business. Until Italy began implementing all the constricting labour laws it had one of the fastest growing economies in Europe. Ever since it has slowly but surely moved into reverse.

These lunatic laws, which actively discourage firms from employing people, are being implemented here. Apart from providing lots of work for lawyers and the least useful department in most firms - "Human Resources" - they will do little but harm.

Nobody knows how the Great European Cock-up is going to end, but if we're going to be fucked around by politicians, at least let them be British ones.