A load of you-know-what goes round the S for Sugar bend

Pimlico Plumbers founder Charlie Mullins says the apprenticeship scheme fronted by Lord Sugar has wasted millions of pounds and left thousands of young people out of work.

The programme has cost £2.85m, but of the 18,000 vacancies it has advertised, just 1,185 have been filled. That's an average cost of £2,405 per apprentice**

Mullins, who is a real plumber and was an apprentice at 15 recognises shit when he smells it.

“Sugar is nothing more than window dressing for the failing policies of a failing Government,” says Mullins

Ah, but the Toad's favourite barrow boy long ago left the real world and inhabits the Simon Cowell-Michael Jackson-Gordon Ramsay-EastEnders land which for most of the country long since replaced reality.

This is the land where ...

Nobody can spell ...

Nobody can add, subtract or multiply ...

You get certificates for catching the bus ...

Every year more and more school leavers get A grades in their exams - but can't get university places ...

Because the country is run by liars and cheats ... opposed by more liars and cheats.

** Cost comparison: I paid £19 on Gumtree to find over 80 people wanting a job with me - of whom at least 20 were admirably well qualified. About 95p each. Of course, unlike the government I was spending my money, not yours.