What the hell's happening?

Has my computer gone mad?

All of a sudden I've been hit by a torrent of Viagra offers, a never ending stream of requests to watch eccentric maidens doing bizarre things with their family pets, and a rich cornucopia of bargains in the horological department - maybe to time the erections.

And some of this stuff is so unkind. "Life is unjust - that is why some men are well-endowed while others aren’t" says the improbably named Harris Atkins, advising me that "you would never have to travel south if you had a bigger shaft."

I have no idea why this has all come about. What's more, Harris, you unimaginative Neanderthal, many of us like to travel south.

But I am straying from the point, which is that the lady who sits opposite me - to whom Viagra is supremely irrelevant and shafts mere objects of curiosity - has started getting the same stuff. But strangely enough, young Kate our trusty handmaid hasn't.

Why? We're all in the same office, on the same server. Why should Kate be left out of these adventures? Is she below the age of indecency?

Aren't computers odd?