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Friday, 27 November 2009

My idea of hell

I just got one of those emails that remind me how glad I am I don't work for an "organisation". It gave "details of our guide to holding reviews for your executive team."

It only takes the words "executive team" to start the nausea. Then the message went on:

Topics covered in the Video Seminar include:

- Suggestions for how to structure the reviews
- The step-by-step process
- Key questions to ask each member of the team (CEO, CFO, CTO, CMO, COO)
- How to encourage excellence in the executive team
- Case Study

Samples of the types of questions answered in the video seminar include:

- What are the most crucial aspects of the CEO's role in performance reviews? Who else is involved in developing and issuing the review?
- What are the most commonly cited benefits of performance reviews? What are the disadvantages?
- Which aspect of the review process do CEOs find the most challenging?
- What are the basic components of a well organized review process? Which criteria are used for reviewing members of the executive team?
- What is the best format for discussing the review with the executive? When is a group or peer-review process appropriate? How is this conducted?
- What leadership skills can CEOs use to encourage excellence in the executive team? What leadership skills do you like to see used by the executive team?
- How does the review process help to establish personal or career goals? Why is this important to developing excellence?

And so on. Great if you're a CEO, CFO, CTO, CMO, COO, TWAT or some other set of initials. But what if you're a human being? Sounds like hell to me. The polar opposite of what I think most people look forward to - and I will offer.

What never fails to make me laugh is all this guff about "leadership skills".

When December, season of alcohol, remorse and let's hope we survive next year approaches, I shall cut down on the commercials and dial up the bad jokes.

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