Ah! The joys of religion .. Why not give these enthusiasts what they crave?

Christmas is a good time to think about what we believe in.

It's about 700 years since our lot went charging over to save Jerusalem from the Muslims, but the basic concept hasn't changed much - just the cast of characters.

A crew of loonies of Bangladeshi origin has been arrested for planning to slaughter a lot of people in the name of Allah.

And the lovely Afshan Azad who played Padma Patil (a Hindu-sounding name if ever there was one) in Harry Potter was beaten, called a slag and prostitute and threatened with death by her loving family after she met a young man who was not a Muslim.

She was too frightened to come to Manchester Crown Court for the trial of her father and brother who pretty much got away with it as a result.

People who feel that strongly about the joys of paradise should be sent to their spiritual homes, in this case I guess Bangladesh and Pakistan. Sudan sounds like fun, though - they have a permanent policy of slaughtering Christians, flogging women who wear trousers and so on.

Or maybe we could have a reciprocal arrangement whereby those who believe can experience the joys of Sharia - perhaps with Saudi Arabia, which is where most of the money to finance terror comes from.

Instead of being bound over the keep the peace in the silly old English way they could experience the bliss of something appropriately medieval that respects their beliefs.

Stoning to death? Public beheading? A hand or two amputated? A few hundred lashes in front of Manchester Town Hall? No doubt some of the preachers living here who egg these people on know the appropriate treatment.