When it absolutely, positively has to be there don't call DHL - Oh, and is Italy in Europe?

I wouldn't say I hate Christmas, but I do hate the way it has turned into a giant retail romp.

Talking of which, my beloved, who (unlike me) loves buying presents, found a lovely winter coat for her sister at the Banana Republic and paid extra for it to be delivered quickly to our office by DHL before she whizzes off to Puglia.

Being alarmingly well-organised (excellent worrier) she monitored the progress of the coat, which in the event did not arrive. A phone call to DHL resulted in a 23 minute wait and a lot of lies. The coat had gone back to Banana Republic because it was "undeliverable".

This was bollocks. We have deliveries from DHL almost every day. We have even become quite matey with the guy who brings them.

So she rang Banana Republic in the U.S.

What a contrast! The girl at the other end thought up a solution: express delivery to Bari in Puglia. No charge. An extra 15% discount for the inconvenience (the coat was discounted already).

Superb. Only slightly marred by a question at the end: "Is Italy in Europe?"

The girl deserves a raise in salary plus free geography lessons.