"Back from the dead?" I hear you cry
Am I Lazarus? Or did you think I was referring to a ghastly two day birthday hangover, you cynic?
Not at all. Let me explain.
I am in Sweden to speak at the Dialogkonferens.
But the way I got invited was a little odd.
My friend Michael Leander Nielsen asked me a few months if I'd ever spoken at this shindig - the biggest in Scandinavia.
When I said "no" he spoke to the organiser, who replied - with unwarranted optimism - "I thought he was dead".
So here I am. Not quite dead yet, but billed as The Grand Old Man of Direct Marketing. That's about the only thing I can understand in the programme, so God knows what I'm going to be talking about.
And what is missing from most social media? Two letters, in my view: b and l.
Don't you think the essence of anything social is that it should be sociable? Shouldn't it be friendly, human, helpful, likeable?
Well, just look at most of the stuff you get.
What's it like?
Isn't much of it pretty dull, cold, often boastful and corporate - quite clearly just after your money?
Shouldn't a good social message come over like a friend trying to help you?
Well I have a friend who has built a business in an incredibly short time by creating something genuinely social.
Before that he was in partnership with Richard Branson three times, helping build three successful Virgin businesses.
In 2009 and 2008 he came to EADIM to tell delegates how it was.
His name is Rowan Gormley.
This year he'll be joining us again to reveal the secrets behind the extraordinary growth of his new venture, Naked Wines.
He's done so in an astonishingly short period of time - during the dreaded recession.
There's no reason why you can't succeed in the same way ... as long as you know what you're doing.
But for that to happen, you have to meet people like Rowan. And you're unlikely to meet as many in one place as you will here.