A gorgeous lady reveals why some people will be having a Merry Christmas - at your expense. Plus a funnier European joke

As all but the blind and stupid know, the news is increasingly brought to us by glamorous lady newsreaders.

The reason may lie in research I saw 40 odd years ago into what attracts the eye. This may well help you in your marketing, by the way.

Men look more at women than at men, and women look more at women than men, but they look at babies even more.

This may explain a few relationship mysteries to us males, but that is not my purpose here. Go and check out http://dotsub.com/view/01ad2718-073c-474a-ac40-c7a72e199d55. It will explain one reason why most people in this country (and I suspect many others too) are not keen on the joys of the European community. 


 Another is that 45% of the community's money goes to subsidising two groups. First, rich farmers who don't need the money. Second, poor farmers who need the money because they are not very efficient ... and get it because they are large in number, many are in France and Germany, and they all vote.


After that, a far better European joke.


Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. 


The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. 


When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford it. 


The Spaniard said "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built". 


The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor's house - gold taps, marble floors - the lot. 


When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek said; "You see that bridge over there?"


The Spaniard replied "No." 


 And finally, a Swiss-Welsh joke. 


There is great stress placed on retaining the ancient language of Wales, which I applaud. 


It does give rise to oddities, though, as they have made up words for things that didn't exist 700 years ago - e.g. toilet is toiled, or ty bach, and paper is papur.


Anyhow, after that boring stuff you don't really need to know, I was entertained to receive the other day this message: Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda. 


My Welsh is not what it was - I went to school in Wales, but only learnt rude words - but this means Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 


Why the sender, who works for a Swiss firm, imagines all his readers speak Welsh, I have no idea, but I would like to pass that message on to all readers in their respective languages - even my resident hissy old queen, Shannon O'Hara.