The Bliar Witch project: revel in the drivel

Those of you not from these parts may be blessedly unaware of the phrase “Blair’s Babes”.

However, when the Bliar first set about screwing things up here and people were so transfixed by his smarmy grin that they never noticed what a mendacious little shit he was, he gathered about him a throng of politically correct hags who got that title.

I don’t know why they were called “babes” as in less sensitive times they were what coarse males used to call brown paper bag jobs.

Be that as it may, their chief talents, as far as one can see, were to stick their tongues so far up his arse that he couldn’t shake them loose and unusual skill in deploying that special kind of language popular among politicians, where normal people vaguely recognise the words but cannot quite make out what the point is.

(Even if you are not British, you will undoubtedly recognise the same sort of meaningless crap being spewed out by your own politicians.)

Eventually quite a few of these politico-sluts reached positions where they were able to do alarming amounts of damage to the economy, society, foreign relations and the nervous systems of those of us who speak English as commonly understood.

It is hard to single out any one of the dire, ugly bitches as more useless than the others but the one that irritates many of us most is called Hazel Blears. I don’t know if there is a verb “to blear”, but if not there will be if she hangs around for long enough.

Here is a sample of the meaningless, self-important guff she wastes our time and money on:

Wednesday June 18th 2008, New Connaught Rooms- London, 09:30 - 16:00
The Empowerment Action Plan: Making Empowerment A Reality in Every Community

''This action plan is about turning rhetoric into reality. We have talked about devolution, now we need to step up a gear; to go further and faster and to be more ambitious about what we want to achieve.

A number of authorities are leading the charge for empowering people doing excellent work. Now I want local government to grasp the opportunities that devolution brings across the country. This action plan will bring about a transformation and reinvent the way we govern by bringing ‘devolution to the doorstep'"

Rt. Hon. Hazel Blears MP, Secretary of State, Department for Communities & Local Government, May 2007

Overview

Communities Secretary, Hazel Blears published the Government’s ‘empowerment action plan’ (19th September) that sets out how it will deliver on its commitment to bring about greater devolution and empower communities. The action plan clarifies how people will be given increasingly greater control over their communities on a wide range of issues from managing social housing, tackling litter and fly-tipping, tackling anti-social behaviour and improving playgrounds and parks. Funding of £35 million will support the actions in the plan and support the successful delivery of the community empowerment agenda. The action plan will dramatically expand and accelerate the programmes currently underway at both central and local level to devolve more power to local power.
The action plan is an opportunity to make real changes to the way government does things – both nationally, and locally – and to deliver high quality services responsive to people’s needs.

What does this mean? It means two things.

1. We are going to have to sort all this out ourselves because the government couldn’t run a piss-up in a brewery, but it is going to take £35 million to give us the bad news on this.

2. She’s wandering about making speeches because her title clearly indicates she hasn’t got a proper job to go to. What a shame most of our public lavatories have been closed in the last ten years – another administrative breakthrough, by the way.

But it is worth asking why these buffoons in government imagine some silly cow can manage communities. In 11 years what has been achieved?

1. Kids are wandering about shooting each other over drug turf - maybe this was as a results of an "initiative" involving a "fact-finding mission" to W. 127th St, NYC

2. Every weekend London's streets are full of drunks busy vomiting all over the pavements as a results of the brilliant new licencing laws. Occasionally they whip their tiny little droopy dongs out and piss on the pavements because of the public lavatory crisis referred to

3. Gaming - and advertising for mugs - has been made legal. That will do a lot for the community - especially the poorer, more gullible folk this governemnt claims falsely to care for.

4. The Post Offices, centres of what is left of rural communities, are being closed down every day so the money saved can go to crackpot schemes (too often involving that word "empowerment") up and down the country.

5. Thanks to the financial "prudence" of G. Brown we now have higher taxes than anyone else in Europe to fund all this misbegotten stuff.

6. All of us in the community deeply appreciate his latest coup - the great Northern Rock bail-out, which was entirely unnecessary as NatWest was happy to fund it.

7. We also pay tribute to his foresight in saving so much money on not buying essential equipment for the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq that many are dying needlessly (nice one, Tony and Gordon, hope you meet the widows and children).

And so on.

I'd better stop now, because I doubt if any politicians in this country understand that most of us wouldn't piss down their throats if they were on fire