WELCOME TO THE DRAYTON BIRD BLOG - Commonsense about marketing, business and life

Leave now if easily shocked or politically correct. Otherwise, please leave your comments. Statements such as "brilliant", "hugely perceptive", "what a splendid man" and "can I buy you dinner at the restaurant of your choice" are all greeted with glee.

If you like, I'll e-mail you each new dollop of drivel when I publish it. Just click here to subscribe. If you want to succeed faster, get my 101 helpful marketing ideas, one every 3 days. People love them - maybe because they're free. Go to www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com and register. You also a get a free copy of the best marketing book ever written

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Dumb and dumber. Fat-gut Billy tells it like it is in his historic drive towards total unemployment. TNT anyone?

The other night I was in my local which is frequented by postal "workers" who do half a day then go in there to down six or seven pints of lager.

I start around the same time as them and finish a great deal later - and more sober, I imagine.

The man from the Union was there, and three of four of them were, with quiet glee, coordinating their next strike.* The mastermind behind this is a man called Billy "call me shit for brains" Hayes.

"I'm more powerful than Arthur Scargill" he boasts.

This is rather like saying that as a skier I'm even worse than Eddie the Eagle (see above)**

For those of you who've forgotten, Artur Scargill, besides having the worst hairdo ever sported by a public figure in the last 50 years (see above) managed to comprehensively destroy the jobs of a great many coal miners and ensure the re-election of Margaret Thatcher which was, to say the least, not what he had in mind.

Up-his-own arse Billy is right though. He will do a MUCH better job of losing his members' jobs than Arthur ever did.

I do not know of any sane client (and one of mine sends out 48 million pieces a year through the Royal Mail) who is not actively seeking or has not already found an alternative to Billy's boozers. I do not know of any ordinary person who would not switch suppliers in a heartbeat if they could.

When the strike began, the union said it was the biggest since the national strike of 2007. But the Royal Mail said service was at close to normal. Gives you an idea what a useless bunch they are.

Billy doesn't care either way. His pension is secure. His followers' families will pay.

I guess the moral is that a bunch of tipsy products of the British educational system aren't necessarily best qualified to think straight.

For overseas readers:

* The Royal Mail is to postal services what Alitalia is to airlines. It loses millions, but they haven't shut it down and want to sell off part of it so someone can make it profitable. The unions are busy striking - just before the peak season of Christmas.

** Eddies the Eagle was a man who couldn't ski - but who managed to get to the Olympics and make a fool of himself to general hilarity. Think Gordon Brown, but funny.

I aplogise for not showing a pic of Fat Billy - but we can only fit two idiots in at a time.

blog comments powered by Disqus