Just so you know what a dreadful bunch of low-lifes some of my clients are ...
The following glorious piece of bad taste was sent to me by someone we've done the odd job for. I really do sometimes wonder where we find them.
A US army platoon was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi insurgent, badly injured and unconscious.
On the opposite side of the road was a British soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men the platoon leader asked the injured soldier what had happened.
The soldier reported, "I was moving north along this highway and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low-life scum bag who'd got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Gordon Brown is a fat, useless, lying one-eyed porridge wog and Lord Mandelson is a pillow biting old whoopsie.
So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and ponces about like a frigid, hatchet-faced dyke. He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Harriet Harman!"
And, there we were shaking hands in the middle of the road when a fucking bus hit the pair of us."
If you have the same appalling sense of humour as my old client, pay on time, and need better results and good advice without being financially raped in the process, e-mail me at drayton@draytonbird.com. We should get on well.
This seductive invitation is limited by time as I am unbelievably old, and stringently limited by number (just four clients wanted) as I am involved in everything we do and very busy**.
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