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Saturday, 13 March 2010

A fact which seems to have escaped Mr. Cameron - related to the purpose of marketing

A phrase sprang to mind this morning, and I checked to see if I had got it right.

I had.

It was said, or so his son alleged, by Winston Churchill's father, Lord Randolph:

"It is the duty of an opposition to oppose."

This is, you would imagine. somewhat obvious. But it is ignored.

It means more than making smart-arse remarks at Prime Minister's question time, or pretending you ride a bike through London when you've got a car following you, or hoping your wife is a better vote-catcher than the other man's, or mewling in public about what should be decently kept as your personal tragedies less insincerely than the other creep.

It means adhering to what I have long stated is the primary purpose in marketing - and winning elections is about marketing - which is to answer the question in everyone's mind, "Why should we choose you?"

If the Mendacious McToad proposes one thing, you must propose the other. If the Incompetent McToad claims printing money is the way to solve the consequences of his folly, you must say it is not. If the Slithery McToad offers to bribe the public with this or that, you must say what is obvious to every vaguely sentient person - we can't afford it.

And so on.

Only 60% of all those who could vote did last time. The Avaricious Bliar was elected by a minority. Many people don't vote because there is no choice, and those who do tend to choose the best liar - and only Clinton was better at that than Big Ears.

The trouble with Cameron is that he is seen as a man who lacks that old-fashioned quality known as "bottom". He is seen as a lightweight. His only passion I can detect is a passion to be elected. That is NOT a unique selling proposition.

One wonderful vote getter would be to say that no matter what has happened so far the crooks who stole money and are now being given rigged pardons should be retroactively brought to book, not forgetting the bushy-browed home flipper Alastair Darling and cupid-lipped Osborne.

Right now my pal Ian's dog Moose is looking increasingly attractive as a PM. He can't speak, so he can't lie.

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