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Saturday, 10 July 2010

File this under “I’m ashamed to be British”

I thought nothing could depress me more in recent months than all the witless boasting in the British garbage press about what England would do in the World Cup - followed by the depressing charade they put on.

But then I opened yesterday’s New York Post to read about “suave Brit” Adam Lyons,”famous in the U.K. as a teacher of pick-up artistry”. He’s running 3-day Pick-Up Boot Camps for desperate males at $1,400 a kick, together with his newly found American Mate Amanda.

Never having heard of this man with a face like a grinning chipmunk – probably because he’s married himself a Green Card - I wondered if, even at this late date, I could pick up the odd hint.

He suggested that “If you’re watching the ice-skaters at Bryant Park and someone takes a fall, you could turn to the girl next to you and say, “Wow, that guy just totally wiped out ... how embarrassing, right?”

Well, I guess you could. And if she was even remotely intelligent she would be well within her rights to give you a quick, but vigorous kick in the balls.

They used to have those initials, FILTH – Failed In London, Try Hong-Kong – for all the braying twats who went there to Lord it over the far more intelligent Chinese.

Could anyone suggest something based around Fucked Up in London, Loser in New York?

Forget it. Maybe the kind of people who take the New York Post seriously will eat up Mr. Lyons. They’ll get food poisoning.

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