WELCOME TO THE DRAYTON BIRD BLOG - Commonsense about marketing, business and life

Leave now if easily shocked or politically correct. Otherwise, please leave your comments. Statements such as "brilliant", "hugely perceptive", "what a splendid man" and "can I buy you dinner at the restaurant of your choice" are all greeted with glee.

If you like, I'll e-mail you each new dollop of drivel when I publish it. Just click here to subscribe. If you want to succeed faster, get my 101 helpful marketing ideas, one every 3 days. People love them - maybe because they're free. Go to www.draytonbirdcommonsense.com and register. You also a get a free copy of the best marketing book ever written

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Signs of the times - today's jokes

This morning there's no underground here in London.

The union is on strike. The strike was almost called off, then reinstated because the wretch in charge, Bob "The Vulture" Crow, wanted two people reinstated. One is accused of stealing. The other opened the doors on a train on the wrong side (could have killed a few people).

So now we know what Mr. Crow believes in: dishonesty and dangerous incompetence. You can see from his face the kind of person he is. The sort of thug who gets thrown out of pubs late at night for starting fights.

This almost inevitably brings me to Der Toader. In my paper I read "Brown prepares reform agenda." (The other day I forgot to mention that word, which fits into the same category as policy and initiative and means vague promises made in pompous manager-drivel.)

Here's a sensible agenda:

1. Get rid of Brown. 2. Remove Brown. 3. Throw Brown out. 4. Expel Brown. 5. Put Brown on the streets without a pension forced to make an honest living etc., etc.

On the subject of pompous manager-drivel, here's part of an e-mail I just got:

For those concerned about boosting productivity and morale through improved supervisory skills, you are invited to join us for our leading 60-minute audio conference:

"Excelling as a New Supervisor: Essential Skills for Rising Stars"

Ungrammatical. Dreary. Fatuous. And you know what? People will buy it. Now ask yourself why so many businesses are in a mess.

As Dr. Johnson once said: "The cows in the fields are content, for they know no better."

Tomorrow I shall write about something entirely different and more pleasant. Art. So if you're interested, keep an eye open

blog comments powered by Disqus